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"Every soul that comes into this world comes here with a very specific mission. When that mission is completed, the soul can leave. The holiest of souls need so little time here in this world that some never even make it outside the womb, others only need their heart to beat once, others not even that."Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburg


This memorial website was created to remember our very special Matthew Burish Lettieri Jr who was born at approximately 18 weeks gestation in San Diego, California at the UCSD Medical Center, Hillcrest on March 18, 2009 at 5:05pm and passed away two and a half hours later. He lived on mommy's breast and in daddy's arms.
You will live forever in our memories, hearts and heaven.


 I, Crystal, birthed him at approximately 18 weeks gestation, Matthew Burish Lettieri Jr., was born on March 18, 2009 at 5:05 pm, he weighed 12 oz and was 8.27 inches long. He passed between 7 and 7:30pm. He was perfect in every way and had the exact features of his father. He was so beautiful and beyond special.
Matty Jr. was born in the presence of his Daddy, Grandma Becky, and our angel nurse Elise Stewart. They witnessed him squirm about with tears in their eyes. Dr. Bowman came in a little too late, but assured us before he left we made the right decision. Elise softly says, "Honey, it's a boy." We called him Cora in the womb as we were so sure he was a she- He sure did surprise us. She then handed him to me. He was so cold so I removed the gown from my right breast, exposed his right half and held him to me. My father, Jose, then walked in from behind the curtain, he wept. Through the tears we said a Psalm over our beloved Matty and prayed. After this Matty shuttered with a big breath; this was the only time I witnessed him move. Then Daddy had his time with him. Matty Jr is Matt's first born, it was all too appropriate for Matty to look JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. From his bushy eyebrows to his over-sized feet and finger-toes. Some time later Elise weighed him with Daddy's help and took his measurement. He was big and extremely well developed for 18 weeks gestation; both our nurses commented on his perfection and how they had never seen such development so early. We cherished his physical being until almost midnight. Even still more touch, more kisses, and more caresses long to be given.

In Matty's short time on earth, in his mother's womb and in our arms, he touched many lives. He surprised medical professionals by surviving and thriving through mom's severe blood-loss, an intense induced labor, AND being outside of mom's womb. He continues to make mom and dad strong as they struggle every day with out him. He also taught them to seek comfort in each other and God. Most importantly he taught us that love is love; it does not matter how far in life one has come. I, his mother, love him no more nor no less as I do his five-year-old brother. The loss of Matty Jr. is as hurtful, painful, and traumatic as the passing of any fully-developed child living on earth. His father experienced a love never thought possible as well as a hurt that no parent should face within a 24 hour period. Matthew Burish Lettieri Jr. was just too special for this earth, too great for flesh. The Lord took him back before I desired, but that is not for us to understand. What is for us is to learn to feel love without hurt, sorrow, and loss; love with joy, thankfulness, and happiness. Thanks to the Lord we have felt that. Matty's story will be used for God's glory; The Lord is faithful to his word.



Por Mi Amor:
Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

                                                                   

The Cure - Pictures of You

i've been looking so long at these pictures of
you that i almost belive that they're real i've
been living so long with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can
feel

remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brighter than the snow and
screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything

if only i had thought of the right words i could
have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

Looking So long at these pictures of you but i
never hold on to your heart looking so long for
the words to be true but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
apart all my pictures of you
Latest Memories
Grandma Becky
 
I do not know where to start.  I had no plan for this as I am sure Crystal and Matt did not either.  Now...I believe that little Matt will be will be watching over us.  My memories are more special than I can ever put in words.  With Crystal moving to San Diego I was lucky enough to go to her appointments with her to the birthing center and to the OB after the problems started.  I am lucky enough that I got to see most of her ultra sounds and got to know not only baby but my daughter and I got to get so much closer that we have in a long time. The midwives at the birthing center are awesome. 
I was lucky enough to be with her during her labor and support her with massages and kisses. I kept thinking that if I played with her hair like she loves so much that I could make her pain go away. She is such a strong woman and I do not know where she draws her strength from. I think I would have opted for the “wake me up when it is over option” I admire her so much.
Baby Matty (still surprised he was a he:-) was part of our daily conversations.  Matt (big) was one of the most excited new Daddies I have ever seen.  I know in his heart and head he could not understand why this was happening to them. None of us could. 
I never thought in a million years we would have to go through what we went through last week. I don’t know what broke my heart more, seeing my daughter almost die before my eyes or seeing her heart break in a million pieces.
When she delivered Matthew I never planned on being right there when it happened because I never knew how I would deal with that.  I am so blessed that I was there and saw him delivered and saw him moving around when he came out. Crystals nurse Elise was an angel.  The tears in our eyes as we looked at each other and she said he is alive and he is a boy broke my heart.  He was so perfect in every way just a tiny little super baby who touched all of our hearts in a way that we never knew possible. He was our tiny little baby who blessed us with his presence for a few short hours of life outside the womb, in months total and for a lifetime for all those who he has touched. He did have all the features of his Daddy down to his strong facial features and big feet and finger toes!
My family has been so blessed to have had Baby Matt, even if for such a short time. I still struggle with why something like this happens and I have to think and try and believe in my heart that there has to be SOME reason…somewhere…somehow…it should make sense.
I still want to give Crystal and Matt kisses and make it all better, but that is the Mommy in me……so how they must feel as parents is beyond what I can imagine.
Part of me wants to thank God for bringing his to us and part of me wants to be mad at God for putting my kids through this. It is a love hate thing….love that we had Baby Matt if even for such a short time…but hate that it hurts us so much.
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